Sunday, August 22, 2010


I am a Swap-Bot Flaker!

There, I said it.  I am a flaker. 
This does not easy any of my guilt though.
Here is my Swap-Bot Story. 
Maybe you will understand, sympathise, blame or feel nothing.  Maybe you will have some ideas on how to try to redeem myself (a 2nd time, yup, I did this twice), or maybe the best thing I can do is let my desire to swap again die.

I found out about Swap-Bot from another blogger. (for the life of me I can not remember who, sorry).  I thought it was the best thing I had found since moving to Hell  Florida.  It gave me something to do & something to look forward to.  I love getting mail, I mean, really, who doesn't??? 
I learned a few new crafts, too! I Love Dotee Dolls & had so much fun ,making them & trading them with the awesome ladies on Swap-bot.  I also learned about ATC's ans SAW discovered that he liked to make and trade them too.  Things were going great.
My father was diagnosed with NHL
(non-Hodgkin's lymphoma)
I tried to keep up with my swaps.  It gave me something to do to keep my mind from going crazy with what-ifs, but it only helped for a little while.  I was so distracted that many deadlines came & went without my noticing.  I sent things out  late, or to the wrong address, or forgetting postage.  On top of that, My mailman decided he hated me & all my packages, so things I received were often opened/damaged.  Things that I sent out on time (and with postage & to the right address) never got to the recipients.  it was obvious that I had too much drama going on to keep up with swapping.  The ladies that I met on the forums were very understanding when I posted my problems an explanation on my profile.  I received many nice emails wishing my family well.  I was determined to get back to swapping as soon as I could. 
When things calmed down & I felt like I had my head on straight I went back to Swap-Bot & made up all (OK,not all, but almost all) of the swaps that I flaked on.  I received a nice welcome back from most of the swappers and good ratings for the made-up swaps.  There were a few people that were upset & wanted to give me bad ratings, and a few that chose not to rate me at all, but all in all it turned out okay.
I found out I was pregnant after 10 years of being told that I could not get pregnant.  Needless to say, We were shocked.  We also had a death in my husbands family. AND we moved. AND my mailman was Fing up our mail again!!!   It was proving to be a difficult pregnancy because of my high blood pressure, diabetes, and Bugs heart issues when she was born.  I was constantly at the Doctors office.
When things were going good at Swap-Bot I became a member of a couple groups, and I even started a group of my own.  I signed up for a few swaps, and was doing well keeping up with everything.  I'm not sure exactly what happened to start the downwards spiral.  I was doing so good.  I just was overwhelmed, I guess.  Too many things going on, too many commitments, not enough time or energy to get it all done.
I was also being flaked on.  Knowing that I had flaked on a few people before I wasn't quick to judge or rate them poorly.  i gave everyone a chance to make it up like they had done for me. 
I was getting frustrated with the mail & things not being delivered when I KNOW I sent them out.  My mail was also arriving opened/damaged again.  Yes, the easy solution would have been to take my outgoing mail to a P.O. off base and to get a P.O. box for incoming mail, but I shouldn't have to.
So, there you go.  I don't know how it happened, but it happened.  I am a flaker.
I tried to put it out of my mind because I know that people will not be so welcoming & accepting f me a 2nd time.  I was doing okay with it for a while.  BUT...
I have been reading so many blogs of Swap-Botters & all about the cool stuff that they make & receive & the great friendships that they have made.  I am jealous!  I want to do it again!!!  I want to craft & swap & read peoples stories and meet people & make friends. 
I am scared!
I have seen on the forums what people say about flakers & how UNforgiving some people can be.  I know my "reasons" would sound like "excuses" to seasoned swappers. 
There is my confession.
Are you a swapper??  Have you ever flaked??  Do you have any suggestions for me??