A lot of time to think

Let me preface this post by saying

stay at home moms rock!

I've "always" worked.  I say it that way because there have been some brief times where I did not work outside the home, and some times when I tried to be a SAHM.  To me though, I have worked more often than not.  A lot of that time was working for my parents & I could have my kids with me, or take off work whenever they had something special going on.  I have always fantasized the reality of being a SAHM.  I always thought it would be awesome.  My house would be clean, I would become a better cook, better mother, better wife, better everything - if only I could stay at home.

Though a series of _______ events - I am now a SAHM.  My house is not any cleaner, my kids are not any happier with me, neither is my husband... worst of all - I am not happy with myself.  Being a SAHM gives a lady a lot of time to think.  Here's a brief and painfully honest list of things I have thought:

• This house is a mess - I should clean it up during her nap (ha ha ha)
• OMG - WHY WON'T SHE TAKE A NAP???
•  good God, I can't wait 'til the kids come home so someone can take care of this screaming brat
• ahhh, 3 o'clock, someone should be home soon!
• it's 3:30 where the F&*% is everyone???
• ohhhhh, I see - you make the $$$ so it's okay for you to stroll in at 4:45 wanting to know what's for dinner - ha - jokes on you buddy - NOTHING cause I completely forgot to take out meat to thaw!
• Damn, I should have taken out something for dinner cause I am starving!

so, yeah.  I really don't think I am cut out to be a SAHM.  The idea of it is great!  I freaking love it, but the reality is not great.  I thought with the new year and all I would be able to turn over a new leaf and change my attitude.  Well, Mike is back to work, and the kids (finally) go back to work tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the true test!  Wish me luck!

On the upside - I am maintaining my weight loss because we do not have the money for tons of snacks on only one income.

ha ha ha ha - I'm laughing so hard I'm crying

Wait, no, I'm just crying...

Maybe it's just the full moon...