Sunday, June 05, 2011


Do you remember that commercial that says "depression hurts"??  Man they weren't kidding. 

I have some health issues, and i am depressed.  I am supposed to be taking upwards of 5 pills a day, not including "optional" vitamins.  Things might not be so bad if i could remember to take them every day, but I can't.  There's probably a different pill they could give me to help me remember, but I'd forget to take it too!  I know, I know - "make it a habit" "make it the first thing you do when you wake up/before you go to bed" "set an alarm".  I've heard it all.  But let me tell ya - in all honesty - if the pills aren't already in my hand when the alarm goes off - I'll forget what the alarm is for!

If only I could remember then maybe I wouldn't:

  • be 55 pounds over weight
  • be so GD depressed
  • sleep all day
  • hate life & everything about it
  • be treated like I have the black plague
    • I'd like to elaborate on this one for a moment and just vent about why I feel this way: 
      • My sister, BIL, brother, SIL, and 3 friends all took a vacation together - I found out about it on her blog.
      • My father didn't return my calls until my sister told him to
      • People that are supposedly my friends all go out together on the weekends - I find out about it on their facebook.
      • My husband would rather spend the day chatting with people on his facebook than have a conversation with me.
      • No one called me for my MJ's 1st birthday
Yes, depression hurts.  It hurts everyone you come in contact with.  As you can tell by my childrens posts to their own blogs.  I swear if someone were to read the last post my son did all my children would surely get taken away.  Of course things aren't as bad as the kids make it seem, but obviously they are hurting too. 
I am so tired of being sick.  Even as I say that I feel horrible for complaining about it when my own father is getting ready to head to Seattle for cancer treatment for his 2nd bout with NHL.  What do I really have to complain about?  (yeah, my father gave me a little "talking to" today about not complaining.  "It does no good." 
No wonder I'm overweight, I eat may too many heaping servings of guilt!

I had a purpose when I started writing this post, and, no, it wasn't just to make my family feel sorry for me (they don't read it anyways).  I guess I'll just quit & write something a little less negative next time.

Probably not.